ROCK-E

Did you celebrate Raksha Bandhan yesterday? Did your kids?

I have many vivid memories of my Renu Faiba coming over and tying what appeared to be a friendship bracelet onto my dad. My dad then gave her jewelry. Seemed like a good trade-off to me! I wasn't privy to what the ritual meant until much later and, while I understand peoples' feathers getting ruffled by the idea that sisters need to be "protected" and whanot--the tradition to me can be simply about carving out a time to appreciate the special relationship between a brother and a sister. Period. Full stop. We are always talking about ways to incorporate Indian traditions into our American lives--this seems like an easy one to fold into the mix, and what a way to create memories for our kids.

My sister and I don't have brothers, but our cousins from India always said that we were their "sisters" and as much as we didn't understand that as kids, we love it now. (Feel the same way but live too far away to actually tie the bracelet on? Send an ecard.) As for my kids: We did a little, makeshift rakhi ceremony this morning and, gotta say, it was pretty cute. In classic my style--we didn't do it on the right day and the rakhi were a bit unconventional, having been fashioned from string and odds and ends in our house. But the sentiment was pure...!

I do wonder: What would happen if a sister tied a rakhi onto another sister? Do you think it would bastardize the tradition?

Just some food/friendship bracelets/presents for thought...! Happy day after Raksha Bandhan to everyone!

Camp Out

It's not too late. Did you know that June 27th is Great American Backyard Campout day? Pitch a tent in your yard/on your roof/in your living room, feel at one with nature, create memories.

My husband and his sister have endless stories of camping when they were kids. There is some campground whose name, if you say it, will cause them and my in-laws to erupt into fits of giggles for, literally, hours! (The name? Rathtrevor). Why not make some similar memories for you and your brood. Even if you're just in your yard and your hairdryer is right upstairs...!

It's the ultimate "staycation." And if that's not enough, take this to heart: Some people say that our kids' generation is the very first that will come of age, primarily, indoors. And myriad studies link the lack of unstructured playtime to childhood obesity, reduced creativity, and a lack of self-sufficiency.

Pitch a tent--pitch it anywhere--and spend some time together. More information here.

Merry Krishnamas?

I grew up celebrating Christmas. Sort of. We put up a tree, we exchanged gifts. We listened to carols and, as my sister and I got older, we looked at Christmas as a time for our family to come together, spend time at home, drink hot buttered drinks, celebrate and be thankful. We never went to Mass or put up nativity scenes (and, in fact, my dad for some reason has always liked the look of menorahs so we put up one of those one year) but, when people ask if we celebrated Christmas as kids, we always say yes.

We also celebrated Diwali. My mom would have big Diwali parties, would light floating candles, and every year would remind me that my name derived from this festival. Diwali was never explained to us as an "Indian Christmas"--I can see how that could be annoying. But, in all honesty, we also didn't celebrate it with the gusto with which I remember celebrating December 25th.

Which all comes to a head, now, of course, when thinking about whether my kids will celebrate Christmas. My husband never believed in Santa Claus and his family never really celebrated Christmas. He has memories--which he will proudly recite--about debunking Christmas mythology and the existence of Santa to his 6 year old friends at school (there may have been tears). While he will indulge me, he thinks I'm a little silly to put up a tree, garlands, stockings, and ask to be taken to see the holiday decorations in the department store windows and "the houses with the best Christmas lights." (I think I'm a little silly too. But I still ask to see this stuff). But, as in many spheres of our life, there has been a shift in my husband in terms of his perspective on this holiday since we've had kids. After he and my 3 year old put up our tree (and my son essentially thought his dad was the most amazing person on the planet for making the glittery shimmery object materialize from our garage), he even told me that he is glad I "make him do this"...! (I wish I had had Dave Chapelle's home stenographer around so that I could always remember this moment...)

I would like to give our kids Christmas. First of all, I have so many memories of the time of year from my own childhood and we often want to pass on the happy traditions from our own youth, right? Plus, Christmas doesn't really seem Christian to me. For better or for worse, it just seems "American," like Thanksgiving or Halloween. Obviously this provides a host of issues as well--because, really, even the secular traditions around most holidays, American and not, are baffling when you try to think about them rationally--but, end of the day: We are American. We are a part of it. Is it worth fighting this particular manifestation of it?


I don't think so. But I could be wrong. Once in a while I am. Ha. No, seriously, I do wonder about whether it would be "better" to explain to my kids from an early age that we aren't Christian and we don't celebrate this holiday. Maybe use the season as an opportunity to discuss diversity of viewpoints and religion. On the flip side, I just don't care enough to be one of those people who insists that this period of time be called "the holidays" instead of "Christmas". Neither do these Hindus so I guess I'm not alone in being rubbed the wrong way by the overly-PC nature of some very well-meaning people.

As for the fact that Christmas really is about--well--Jesus. I'm reminded of a story my husband told me about the Christian missionaries arriving in India to spread their gospel. One of the missionaries walked into an Indian temple and showed the Hindus a picture of Jesus. "This is our lord Jesus Christ," the missionary said. The priest looked at the man, looked at the picture, took it from the missionary's hand and tacked it onto his wall--above various images of Krishna, Ganesha, and others. When the missionary protested--"No, Jesus is the only God, you have to take those other images down"--the Indian priest was baffled. "We have many Gods here," he said, leaving the missionary speechless.

So be it that Christmas is about Jesus. We have a rich cultural tradition of accepting different faiths anyway.

We will be spending Christmas with my parents, my sister-in-law, my brother-in-law, my nephew, and of course our kids. We'll eat tons, we'll exchange presents, we'll sit around the fire and re-hash stories we've told before. There will be a tree.

I can't wait and I'm kind of "pro" any excuse that gets this particular group of people together...

Happy Bakri-Id

Tomorrow is Bakri-id, one of the most celebrated Muslim festivals and a day of Muslim sacrifice. A Happy Eid day to Muslims everywhere. In light of the terror attacks in Mumbai, many Muslims are going out of their way to express that their Islam is a peaceful, loving one, and to condemn the recent events.

We are all capable of contemplating and remembering the events still going on in Mumbai without condemning an entire religion.

Here is one of the more poignant tribute to the Mumbai attacks I have yet to see, music by Karsh Kale: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89yzoIAmhPU

The words in the middle of the video are Gandhi's. Many thanks to Nehal for the video.

The Gifted Child

Obviously there is much talk this holiday season about buying less, doing more. It makes a lot of sense in this time of economic uncertainty: Why not find the silver lining of doom and gloom and teach our children more about charitable giving and less about mass commercialism? Except one thing: The joyful exchange of gifts is not necessarily a bad thing. And we don't want to be like Dickens's infuriatingly self-righteous Mrs. Pardiggle (who proudly announces that each of her five young sons donates his allowance to worthy causes, while the narrator explains that the children look "absolutely ferocious with discontent") now do we??

Of course we as parents should teach our kids about the importance of charity as they grow up. And I wholeheartedly intend to start now, trying to explain to my 3 year old the difference between "want" and "need"; modeling charitable behavior. But is it wrong to also want to give him something absolutely perfect to unwrap with glee and anticipation? To watch his face light up like a glow stick as he unearths his new treasure? A present is about thoughtfulness and has less to do with money and more to do with connection and depth of relationship. Some of the best gifts I have given and received cost far less than some of the donations I make.

And so, here they are, some of my favorite picks for children this holiday season. This list is hardly exhaustive or even close to balanced and it doesn't evenly cover every age-group. Nothing is overly elaborate either. Nope, my list is comprised of random, sometimes simple and sometimes quirky items that I would be proud to wrap up in bows and give to all the little babies and children I love this holiday season. Without further ado, 12 of my favorite gifts, and nary a partridge or pear tree in sight:

1) Touchable Art Books: These interactive books give kids hands-on fun in a trippy art world ("pet Matisse's fish!" "Brush Venus's hair!"). Plus, they are much more fun than reading "Goodnight Moon." Again.



2) Skyscraper Block Set: 36 piece set for the budding architect...or for the parent who is sick of ugly blocks.





3) Playhouse: Let your baby
draw on the
walls--his own walls!
This biodegradable playhouse
made of recycled cardboard
can be your toddler's home away from home. And you know
how much kids love boxes. Hours and hours of entertainment.



4) Framed pad: Elegant post-it notes--who knew? Kids can draw within the frame, immediately elevating their doodles to high-art; moms can peel and stick a pre-framed masterpiece.









5) Magic clothes: Remember hypercolor shirts? They're back! But less gross. The
solar-activated
ink on these shirts change color when exposed to the sun, so pirate ships and fairies take on a new look.


6) Message In A Bottle Kit: For when your kid needs to send out an SOS. Comes with a bottle, a cork, and wax.




7) Jigsaw Puppet puzzles: These hip wooden puzzle pieces do double duty as puppets and puzzle pieces. The heads and bodies can be mixed and matched to make an endless number of new characters and fairytales.



8) Homemade, but not homespun, unique clothes: This "Scribbly love dress" is cool without being over the top and will have everyone wondering where you find such awesome clothes for your kids.


9) Puzzles that grow in difficulty as your kids grow in height:
Kid-o puzzles feature different configurations and backgrounds of increasing difficulty--so you aren't forced trying to make your 4 year old put the circle in the right place for the millionth time.


10) A simple camera: Because it's never too early to teach your kids to see the world through various lenses.



11) "Forever Young" by Bob Dylan: Bob Dylan wrote a children's book? Do you need any more reason to get this? "May you grow up to be righteous. May you grow up to be true." I might have accidentally purchased this for myself.






12) Something personalized: Check out the host of personalized options in clothing and books we've previously showed to you. Particularly good for kids with names you don't see at the souvenir shop--can't you remember searching those carousels of little license plates, looking for the "Deepa" or the "Parul"?!?

Give good gift Devis!