Paper Dolls Desi Style

Tired of the usual paper doll fare? Oh aren't we all...!

From one of my favorite blogs, Masala Chai, check out these Indian-inspired paper toys--all free to download and create yourself!

Monday Musings: Xacto Knives and Happy Medium Land

Yesterday I found myself in a very familiar predicament: It was 10 a.m., both kids were up and active and fed, we had already gone to the park--and yet it felt like the whole day stretched ahead of us. I bemoan the lack of quality time with my kids as much as the next person but, tell me you know what I mean--those days that just feel like they are going to go on forever? I didn't want to pack up the kids in the double-stroller and do our usual walk downtown because I would end up buying a pair of earrings/shoes/purses(!) I don't need. Breakfast was done, so no need to brave a restaurant. Last I checked, it would have been inappropriate to trek my kids to the movie theater to see "Blindness" or "W" (I miss the movies!). We needed a project.

In the last 3 years, I have tried many of the activities that moms and babies are "supposed" to do. "Music together." Mommy-and-me yoga. Gymboree. I have always left these sorts of things feeling pretty much like a tool, and, more often than not, severely bored--in general and of the person I am in such places. Plus, thus far, my kids just don't seem to be that into any of these activities (go ahead, get out the armchair and the psych book: "projection projection!") I think the problem is trying to shoehorn myself into a mom that I just may not be. Obviously my kids are still pretty malleable and if I forced "Music Together" on them over and over again, they would likely get into it. So, clearly, the problem is me. Problem Mommy.

Yesterday I thought about doing the "supposed to" activities. Going to the children's museum. Reading lots of silly books. Checking out the puppet show at a local bookstore. I have done all of these things before. And, yes, I have enjoyed them sometimes, as have my kids. But it was one of those days where the effort to be "that mom" seemed Herculean. So something altogether different transpired. As I was going through the bookshelf, looking for something to read to my 3 year old that wouldn't make me fall asleep, I found one of my absolute most treasured possessions: A frightening looking book called "Clowns Do Happen," given to me as a gift from a college friend. It is a "secret book"--completely hollowed out--that she made herself. When you open it, in my friend's Unabomber handwriting is scrawled: "Place Treasures Here."

I decided we HAD to make a secret book. Immediately. My kids were very amused by "Mom On A Mission." This was, in part, because I made us all wear tinfoil hats as I gathered the necessary materials, and who doesn't like tinfoil hats? This is what you need to try this at home:

-A hardcover book, at least 1 1/2 inches thick
-Elmer's glue
-Some sort of container to mix glue and water (I used an old bowl)
-Xacto knife
-Painbrush
-Ruler
-A way to silence your mother's voice in your head telling you that books are sacred (they are) and that you shouldn't deface them (you shouldn't--but sometimes rules need to be broken).
-These clear instructions


For three hours, my 3 year old sat mesmerized--truly mesmerized--as we cut paper, glued edges, and sang at the top of our lungs to Bob Dylan (Secret Book not contingent on musical selection--but there is something pretty amazing about hearing a child attempt to sing Subterranean Homesick Blues). This is a child who spent 2 months of Music Together, literally--literally--running in circles. My younger one rocked happily in his little chair scrunching the discarded paper in his hands and playing peek-a-boo with it. My toddler didn't ask for "Fireman Sam" or "Thomas the Train" once which I consider one of my proudest accomplishments thus far, not only as a mother but in life. The day became one of the memories of time with my kids I will file away and take out when I'm frustrated that they won't sleep, that they're constantly making messes, that they have so many needs. It was simple, and it was so me--plus children. And the silver lining is that I didn't have to make forced funny faces or otherwise act like a buffoon.

Our energy is contagious. As much as my love of eccentricity wants me to believe otherwise, I am pretty sure my 3 year old wasn't half as excited as he seemed by the prospect of making The Secret Book. I think he just liked seeing me jump up and down, get excited myself, not nag him to eat his "tree" (decoder ring: "tree"=broccoli). It's easy to forget this sometimes--to forget that the authenticity, the sense of ourselves that we have lived our lives building and striving for still serves us well in this new adventure of parenthood. It's almost impossible not to get bogged down with the "supposed to" and the "shoulds." But there is of course a happy medium, and in Happy Medium Land live Secret books currently filled with the candy that I don't let my kids eat. In Happy Medium Land lives Happy Medium Land Mom, snuggling with her kids and watching Colin Powell finally saying what somebody should have said so long ago, (making my kids watch tv, for once, even though they are too young to understand how amazing his words are), having the epiphany that, sometimes you gotta do the Xacto knife activity instead of the trip to Tiny Gym...you just do.

How to Celebrate Diwali With Your Kids

As Devis with Babies in the 1.5- or second-generation category, our knowledge of Indian culture is pretty random. We may be able to remember the ingredients of herbal cold remedies our moms gave us, or know the names of the major Hindu gods, but we'll have no idea what that mystery spice in our kitchen is, or what exactly happens in the Ramayana.

So celebrating holidays can be a crapshoot. I have some vague recollections of how we used to celebrate Diwali. I remember a puja my dad used to do involving gold coins, kumkum and water that was apparently from the Ganga. I remember my mom making tons of of "sweetmeats" in the weeks beforehand. And the best memory of all: On Diwali night, I remember going through the house switching on the lights, and not being scolded, as I was every other night, for not turning them off.

Now, suddenly, I find myself responsible for my daughter's future memories of Diwali. It’s a major holiday, and I want her to experience it in some way. But I’m not going to do a puja because I have no idea how to, and I definitely am not making any "sweetmeats."

So, as I often do when I am perplexed about decisions in life, I turned to the Internet and cobbled together this list.

Ten Insta-Culture Ways to Celebrate Diwali With Your Child!
1. Going along with the Diwali theme of lights, string Christmas lights up outside your home. It will make the neighbors wonder.

2. Buy diyas, available at all Indian stores right now, and light them around your home or in a particular room. Then, open up the doors and windows. The significance of this is apparently that if Lakshmi sees your home lit up and open invitingly, she will enter, thereby gracing you with prosperity for the year to come. (And who couldn’t use a little prosperity right now?)

3. Better yet, make your own diyas with your child. Use self-hardening clay to create a little bowl. Glue a tea light inside of it, and use paint to decorate it. Fairly simple.

4. Spread the wealth: Donate to a charity, whether it's local or in India. Involve your child in deciding which charity to donate to, and make it a yearly family tradition.

5. Have a gambling party. It's done all over India, since this is meant to be a particularly auspicious time of the year, paisa-wise.

6. Create a rangoli design with your little one. In India these designs are done at the front door using colored chalk powder, colored rice and spices. Since I have no idea where to buy colored chalk powder, and I'm not going to food-color rice anytime soon, I'll probably just use some colored paints, and rip off the rather nice rangoli designs here.

7. Exchange small gifts with friends. Last year, my friend gave little diyas to her friends' children, personalized with their names. She also got us a children's book about Diwali. I was super impressed.

8. When your kid asks you, "Mommy, what is Diwali?" don't get panicked -- whip out a book! Here are some more Diwali books for children.

9. Buy sparklers and watch your kid squeal in delight. If you're adventurous, and if your local area allows it, buy other kinds of legal fireworks and set them off. I will stick to sparklers since I'd rather not burn the house down.

10. Hang out with other devis who know what they're doing. Then, copy them. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, right?

How do you plan to celebrate Diwali?