Camp Out

It's not too late. Did you know that June 27th is Great American Backyard Campout day? Pitch a tent in your yard/on your roof/in your living room, feel at one with nature, create memories.

My husband and his sister have endless stories of camping when they were kids. There is some campground whose name, if you say it, will cause them and my in-laws to erupt into fits of giggles for, literally, hours! (The name? Rathtrevor). Why not make some similar memories for you and your brood. Even if you're just in your yard and your hairdryer is right upstairs...!

It's the ultimate "staycation." And if that's not enough, take this to heart: Some people say that our kids' generation is the very first that will come of age, primarily, indoors. And myriad studies link the lack of unstructured playtime to childhood obesity, reduced creativity, and a lack of self-sufficiency.

Pitch a tent--pitch it anywhere--and spend some time together. More information here.

You and Me in the Summer Time

I have become one of those people who says things like "time flies" and "I can't believe how big you've grown" without a trace of irony. No joke time passes and can I REALLY not believe that a child has grown, it does tend to happen every now and again, no...?

And yet: My lord, time flies. Is it really June? I just got the "reminder" in D's lunchbox that the end of his "school year" is this Friday. A mild panic started to set in. What am I going to do with D. allll summer? I have gotten very accustomed to the managed chaos of my two youngest ones at home while D is at preschool 4 days a week. Come next Monday, there will be another set of needs to address everyday--and this set has a louder voice!

My first thought was to consult my BFF google on things like "activities for toddlers in Berkeley" and "summer classes for kids." And there is an array of options. Gymnastics, music camp, every sport under the sun, organic farming (this is Berkeley), swimming lessons, underwater basket weaving...endless possibilities.

But even as I was masterminding my chock-a-block summer activities for D., I could feel the tug in the back of my head, the voice from somewhere in my childhood, questioning this over-scheduling I was in the midst of planning.

I spent many summers catching frogs in the backyard of my house. My next door neighbor C. and I spent entire days making up fantasies in which, on any given day, the swamp that ran through both of our yards was a magical land of flying cars (we lived in Michigan--cars featured prominently in our fantasies), or a secret garden full of treasuers to unearth. Sure, there were swim classes here and there, family trips and whatnot. But the majority of the summers of my childhood could best be described as unstructured. And when I think back on them, I cannot conjure up beautiful enough words to describe how perfect they were.

Obviously I am running the risk of being simply nostalgic and sentimental. But can't summer just be summer? Can't our kids read their books all day, laze around outside, stop--for lack of a better phrase--and smell the roses, eucalyptus, organically grown produce? Maybe they will get bored sometimes. Forgive me but: so what??

Welcome to the "slow parenting movement." It is an idea whose time has come. To support it: Here are some recipes for bubbles. I can imagine long afternoons blowing bubbles into the faces of my three babies. That is enough activity for one summer day.

Say Cheese Goddamit!

So... It's sort of impossible to write the "perfect" follow-up blurb to summarize or crystallize the last 10 posts. (This would be the case under the best of circumstances. And, last I checked, being a mom of a 3 day old and nursing 23 1/2 hours a day do not constitute the best of circumstances!) There is so much I want to say and I hope to continue many of the threads of conversation--and controversy--through many future posts...

Also, rewind, what about the small fact that: I am a mom of a 3 day old! And, as I'm sure you've noticed, I sort of write something that, much to my chagrin at times, would be characterized as a "mommy blog." As such, therefore, Q.E.D. (I know that means something, maybe something mathematical? Trig comes to mind?): I should probably shoot off some of my oh-so-brilliant thoughts and musings about new motherhood right?

Of course! And I will. Minus the brilliant part. Very soon. But in the meantime, let me tell you this: It is really really difficult to take a photo of three children. There were two non-breastfeeding things on my to-do list for the day: Take a shower, and take a photo of all three kids to send around to friends and family. (In my "bonus points" column--come on, you know your to-do list has a "bonus points" column!--I included: (1) Brush my hair; and (2) Read about this so-called "economic stimulus plan" so that, um, I'm not the most idiotic person in America. All I can say is: Better luck tomorrow on the bonus points).

Back to the photo: It's incredibly difficult. You got the 3 year old with the attention span of an MTV crack addict; the 1 year old who for some preposterous reason is more interested in crawling and putting pennies into his ears than in posing for the camera; the newborn who is awake for periods of 27 seconds of a time...There are logistics to handle, cattle/children to herd, faces to get pointed the same way. What's a sleep-deprived camera-retarded girl to do? Lucky for me, I stumbled upon this brilliant suggestion: Throw all the kids in a pack-and-play. Seriously, think about it. A natural frame, a discrete amount of space, lots of fun layering...! I can't really do this just yet seeing that my new baby girl would, um, die under the weight of her two brothers--but soon, soon, a perfect Pack-and-Play photo will be mine. Survival of the fittest my beautiful little S....

Sort of related, I used to think the idea of these cameras with built-in slimming and air-brushing functions were, in a word: Lameweirdvain. However: The dark bags under my eyes in the one photo I managed to procure today of me and my are begging me to reconsider. The Casio version apparently makes your photos "magazine ready" by smoothing out skin-tone and softening shadow. Thoughts? Has anybody tried these? I'm imagining a whole pretend world in which I look like the girl in one camera's photos...but how would I shield myself from the evil world of All Other Cameras?!?

In a note of seriousness: A final thanks to all the guest-writers over the last week or so. I have gotten so many email messages from people thanking me for giving men a forum, asking follow-up questions, inquiring about the breadth of commentary. It's been such a great series to read and I am toying with the idea of doing a follow-up feature with women writers, so please email me at deviswithbabies@gmail.com if you are interested in writing something--would love to hear from you. If you have photo tips, all the better...!

Monday Musings: "Let's Turn Off the TV and Throw Stuff"

My 3 year old watches way too much t.v. I have tried to blame almost everybody for this ("obviously it's because of the mailman!") but it is quite clearly my fault. It began as a magic pill--my husband and I were psyched when D. would first sit quietly for a 30 minute stretch, enraptured by Fireman Sam, the Berenstein Bears, Cailou...whatever...we would have given him Freddie Crouger for that bit of free time. But, seemingly in the blink of an eye (okay, over the course of one year), it has turned into a full-blown disaster. Now, D "needs" t.v. to eat, demands a show before he goes to sleep, and throws dog-whistle-octave tantrums when he doesn't get his fill.

I've tried to reason with him but, shockingly, the notion that "too much t.v. is bad for you, D," doesn't resonate with him. I've tried lying but "the t.v. is broken" doesn't really work when your children can navigate plugs and remotes better than you. I've tried to call in the big guns: "D, the Berenstein Bears are on the phone! They just told me something! They said you should NOT watch any more t.v. YAY right?!?!?!" These attempts are met with the pitying glances they deserve.

But one thing does work. And I am realizing it works in many, many situations. Distraction.

So, here it is, a roster of indoor activities (because did I mention that it has started to rain all the time?) that I am hoping will wean my kid off his crack. Most are culled from late night frantic searches for "indoor activities with kids" and "oh god please help me"...! And of course there are a million other distraction techniques, but these are some that have worked for us.

Indoor Hopscotch

A twist on the traditional hopscotch, great for kids in the process of learning their ABC's and 123's. Start by making squares or rectangles with letters and numbers on them. Then lay them out all over the floor. Have your child start at one end of the room and see if they can cross the room jumping from square to square. They must identify the letter or number they are going to jump to next. You can also call out the number or letter for them and tell them to find it and jump on it next. Your kids can also call our letters and numbers for you to jump on. This helps the younger kids to learn their letters and numbers. Try it with shapes, colors, animals, favorite HBO shows, etc.

Be A Boat

I love this one because it allows you to go to bed at all times. While on a bed with your child/children, pretend you are on a sail boat. Locate marine life (jumping dolphins, sharks, whales) and search for land. Create stories with your kids about why you are on the boat and where you are going, even what you will see when you arrive. Occasionally, if you are feeling particularly adventurous, jump off for a swim around the bed to cool off. With us, this usually ends with us pretending I actually am a boat, but you don't have to go that far.

Going on a Bear Hunt

Did you guys ever sing the song 'We're Going on a Bear Hunt'? (If you can't remember the words, you can find them here www.dltk-kids.com/crafts/teddy/bearhunt.html). I can't even remember when I learned the song but it has served me well. I sing it with the kids and we go through the house, looking for bears through the "grass," in the "trees," at the end of the "river." I usually just tell D things like "Look, it's a river," while pointing at a chair but if you want, you can make some scenery with construction paper and the like.

Snowball Fight

I grew up in Michigan and I am sort of sad my kids' experience with snow will likely be confined to fancy schmancy Tahoe trips. Even those won't happen for a while so, to tide us over, we sometimes have snowball fights indoors. I tried to make real snowballs once. Not particularly safe or, um, smart. Our new variation is to roll up a bunch of white tube socks to create "snowballs." I tell the kids it's time for a snowball fight and let them throw things. And yes: Many, many of my distraction techniques involve allowing D to throw things.

Shoe Hunt

My kids love to try on and wear my husband's and my shoes. We have made up a few shoe games, some more successful than others. In one, we get several pairs of shoes and put them in a pile, then race D to the stack and try to see who can put on a matching pair first. I used to let him win but now he can actually beat me, I'm not kidding. In another, we hide shoes. And D. finds them. That's it. It works.

Playing Elevator

The inspiration here is that scene in Austin Powers where Mike Myers pretends he is on an elevator, a boat etc. We spread a towel on the ground for our 'elevator.' We step in and push the pretend button to travel to different floors. You can go all out and describe each step: 'The door is opening' (show with your hands). 'We're getting on the elevator' (step on the towel). 'We're pushing two' (push button). 'We're going up' (look up), etc. Get off at different floors and describe what you see at each one. Visit the whispering floor, the jumping/ flying floor, the eating ice cream floor, the walking backwards floor, the tiger floor, etc.

Pillow Maze

Take notes this one is complicated: Get a bunch of pillows and couch cushions and pile them in one room. Create mazes with them. Go nuts.

Kitchen Bowling

Get a bunch of plastic bottles and stand them up on the floor like bowling pins. Then have your kids stand an appropriate distance away, and take turns rolling a tennis ball towards the 'pins.' Funny shoes optional but highly recommended.

Paint the Tub

This one is not for the uber-clean, a group I often aspire to but never really am asked to join. Either purchase bath paints or make your own by mixing the same amounts soap and corn starch, and adding food coloring to it. Then let your kids go wild on your bathtub with a brush or with their fingers. D LOVES this...in part because I let him do it so rarely and I think he is just amazed that, for a period of time, I am not telling him to clean something up.

Squirrel at the Picnic

Lay out a blanket and five things that you would take to a picnic -- for example, a basket, napkins, plates, bottle of water, food container. Sit with your kid on the blanket and look at the items. Then tell your child to close their eyes and take one item away. Once your child opens his eyes see if he can tell which item was taken by the "squirrel at the picnic." I can't even believe how lame that looks written out, but D squeals with delight every time we play.

Sock Toss

Mark a line on the floor with string or masking tape or dirty clothes you find lying around. Set up an empty bucket or laundry basket or other receptacle a couple of feet beyond the line of tape. Take turns seeing if you can toss rolled-up socks into the bucket or basket.

Go Fishing

Create a fishing pond for your toddler. Cut out several paper fish from construction paper and attach a paper clip to each fish. Then tie a string to one of end of the fishing pole (yardstick or other rod) and a magnet to the other end of the string. Your child can lay out the fish on the floor and go fishing by trying to touch the magnet to the fish's paper clip. Kids love it when they 'catch' the fish. If you're a vegetarian, teach your kid to throw the fish back in afterwards...ha...