Happy Bakri-Id

Tomorrow is Bakri-id, one of the most celebrated Muslim festivals and a day of Muslim sacrifice. A Happy Eid day to Muslims everywhere. In light of the terror attacks in Mumbai, many Muslims are going out of their way to express that their Islam is a peaceful, loving one, and to condemn the recent events.

We are all capable of contemplating and remembering the events still going on in Mumbai without condemning an entire religion.

Here is one of the more poignant tribute to the Mumbai attacks I have yet to see, music by Karsh Kale: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89yzoIAmhPU

The words in the middle of the video are Gandhi's. Many thanks to Nehal for the video.

Monday Musings: Kids Say the Darndest Things

Have you talked with your kids about the Mumbai terror attacks?

At a holiday party this weekend, my friend, who has a 6 year old, was telling me about how her daughter was fixated on the news they watched all Thanksgiving weekend. My friend was in unfamiliar territory. Like all of us, she attempts to control the media her daughter sees. She balances telling the truth at all times with safeguarding her child's innocence. She weighs the pros and cons of each PBS Sprout program before allowing her children to watch it. But current events throw our carefully orchestrated systems of parenting out the window sometimes. Incapable of turning off the coverage of the Taj, my friend wondered whether she should let her daughter see the graphic footage of carnage and death, how she should explain it, and now, over a week later, she is dealing with how to field the constant and myriad questions the images provoked in her daughter.

Why are the men smiling Mommy?

Is that a baby?

What is happening in that hotel now?

Who cleaned all of that up?

My friend is at a loss. Having seen more disaster and terrorism than she hopes her daughter ever will, she continues to read the news about Mumbai but, for the most part, goes on with her life as usual. Not so for her 6 year old. Every day, little R has a new question that comes from her 6 year old attempts at trying to make sense of the nonsensical. Everyday, often apropos of nothing, R asks her mother to explain to her what happened again. And everyday my friend comes face to face with the fact that, sometime soon--maybe even now--she will stop being able to provide all the answers to her children.

"When she asked me if the terrorists' moms are mad at them, I had to leave the room so that she didn't see me cry," my friend told me.

We were at a Christmas party at a tiki bar. It was a pretty surreal setting for the unsettling conversation, and "Guns and Roses" was playing in the background. We both took sips of our drinks and I felt grateful for the small fact that, when my 3 year old asked me about the coverage of the attacks, I was able to tell him that it was a bad movie and that Fireman Sam was coming to save everyone and that the good guys win in the end.

My kids don't understand these things. Yet.

Devis Like Smart Girls

Two empowering new voices for all our little Brown Girls to emulate:

Check out Saturday Night Live's Amy Poehler's new webshow "Smart Girls At the Party," which "celebrates girls who are changing the world just by being themselves":



And take a peek at www.onebrowngirl.com for more pro-social messages for little girls everwhere. Plus some cool t-shirts.

Have a great weekend!

Brown Girls: The Whole World is Watching?

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The Gifted Child

Obviously there is much talk this holiday season about buying less, doing more. It makes a lot of sense in this time of economic uncertainty: Why not find the silver lining of doom and gloom and teach our children more about charitable giving and less about mass commercialism? Except one thing: The joyful exchange of gifts is not necessarily a bad thing. And we don't want to be like Dickens's infuriatingly self-righteous Mrs. Pardiggle (who proudly announces that each of her five young sons donates his allowance to worthy causes, while the narrator explains that the children look "absolutely ferocious with discontent") now do we??

Of course we as parents should teach our kids about the importance of charity as they grow up. And I wholeheartedly intend to start now, trying to explain to my 3 year old the difference between "want" and "need"; modeling charitable behavior. But is it wrong to also want to give him something absolutely perfect to unwrap with glee and anticipation? To watch his face light up like a glow stick as he unearths his new treasure? A present is about thoughtfulness and has less to do with money and more to do with connection and depth of relationship. Some of the best gifts I have given and received cost far less than some of the donations I make.

And so, here they are, some of my favorite picks for children this holiday season. This list is hardly exhaustive or even close to balanced and it doesn't evenly cover every age-group. Nothing is overly elaborate either. Nope, my list is comprised of random, sometimes simple and sometimes quirky items that I would be proud to wrap up in bows and give to all the little babies and children I love this holiday season. Without further ado, 12 of my favorite gifts, and nary a partridge or pear tree in sight:

1) Touchable Art Books: These interactive books give kids hands-on fun in a trippy art world ("pet Matisse's fish!" "Brush Venus's hair!"). Plus, they are much more fun than reading "Goodnight Moon." Again.



2) Skyscraper Block Set: 36 piece set for the budding architect...or for the parent who is sick of ugly blocks.





3) Playhouse: Let your baby
draw on the
walls--his own walls!
This biodegradable playhouse
made of recycled cardboard
can be your toddler's home away from home. And you know
how much kids love boxes. Hours and hours of entertainment.



4) Framed pad: Elegant post-it notes--who knew? Kids can draw within the frame, immediately elevating their doodles to high-art; moms can peel and stick a pre-framed masterpiece.









5) Magic clothes: Remember hypercolor shirts? They're back! But less gross. The
solar-activated
ink on these shirts change color when exposed to the sun, so pirate ships and fairies take on a new look.


6) Message In A Bottle Kit: For when your kid needs to send out an SOS. Comes with a bottle, a cork, and wax.




7) Jigsaw Puppet puzzles: These hip wooden puzzle pieces do double duty as puppets and puzzle pieces. The heads and bodies can be mixed and matched to make an endless number of new characters and fairytales.



8) Homemade, but not homespun, unique clothes: This "Scribbly love dress" is cool without being over the top and will have everyone wondering where you find such awesome clothes for your kids.


9) Puzzles that grow in difficulty as your kids grow in height:
Kid-o puzzles feature different configurations and backgrounds of increasing difficulty--so you aren't forced trying to make your 4 year old put the circle in the right place for the millionth time.


10) A simple camera: Because it's never too early to teach your kids to see the world through various lenses.



11) "Forever Young" by Bob Dylan: Bob Dylan wrote a children's book? Do you need any more reason to get this? "May you grow up to be righteous. May you grow up to be true." I might have accidentally purchased this for myself.






12) Something personalized: Check out the host of personalized options in clothing and books we've previously showed to you. Particularly good for kids with names you don't see at the souvenir shop--can't you remember searching those carousels of little license plates, looking for the "Deepa" or the "Parul"?!?

Give good gift Devis!

The More Things Change...

Hey Readers,

While it feels a bit sad to see Monica, my co-conspirator in this little Devi adventure, move onto her own greener pastures, I for one believe that the South Asian media landscape needs as much substance and talent as possible and I'm excited to see what "indian-ish" things Monica will do next.

As for this site: Not much is gonna change, really. Hard to believe it's only been 3 months since this has begun because hearing from you guys has become a part of my everyday life. So cyber-weird...!

Look out for some changes in the site in the coming months, including a roster of guest bloggers to talk about all things I cannot...or at least should not...! Curious? How about an Indian daddy blogger married to a diva Devi, an Indian sex-expert, the quintessential Indian Aunty to give you advice on all things Indian-protocol, and somebody who can cook (Monica's departure leaves the blog sorely lacking in that area). We are also going to start interviewing high-profile "Devis with Babies" from all walks of life, including a woman who has started her own line of "Baby Einstein books" targetted at Indian children; a mommy-by-day-jewelry-designer-by-night; and a photographer who takes the most unique and meaningful photos of children I have ever seen.

And that's just in January. Ladies: We're just getting started!

Also stay tuned for the launch of our sister-site, Brown Girl Guide, an atelier of sorts for all things Brown style. Think of it as your favorite boutique and your best friend--the one who tells you the truth about the dress, makes you laugh, and explains how those models in the magazines get those awesomely shiny legs--all rolled up in one. Sign up here.

As always, please continue to let "Devis with Babies" know what you like, what you don't like, what you want more of, what you want less of. You can reach me at deviswithbabies@gmail.com, and of course through the comments to the posts.

Bon voyage Monica, hope you keep reading ladies--I'm loving being on this motherhood ride with you...

-Deepa

So Long, Farewell, Hope to See You Soon...

What a wild three months it’s been.

Since we started this blog, I’ve written about everything from my daughter’s tantrums to celebrating Diwali in America to the Bombay terrorist attacks.

From my co-blogger Deepa, I’ve learned about everything from what lipstick to wear to how to channel our frustrations about working motherhood into constructive writing.

And from all of you, I’ve learned that we’re all trying our best to juggle the many balls in our life – kids, work, marriage, home, self – but that we could really use some help keeping them all up in the air.

It’s been a blast, Devis. This will be my last post at deviswithbabies. Thanks for reading, and do come see me at indian-ish.blogspot.com.

Because Bombay is still on my mind, I leave you with a slideshow of the recovery efforts, and a video of A.R. Rehman’s powerful theme song to the 1995 Bollywood movie, Bombay. Sad to think that, 13 years later, the violence continues.



xo,
monica