Devis Like Smart Girls

Two empowering new voices for all our little Brown Girls to emulate:

Check out Saturday Night Live's Amy Poehler's new webshow "Smart Girls At the Party," which "celebrates girls who are changing the world just by being themselves":



And take a peek at www.onebrowngirl.com for more pro-social messages for little girls everwhere. Plus some cool t-shirts.

Have a great weekend!

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The Gifted Child

Obviously there is much talk this holiday season about buying less, doing more. It makes a lot of sense in this time of economic uncertainty: Why not find the silver lining of doom and gloom and teach our children more about charitable giving and less about mass commercialism? Except one thing: The joyful exchange of gifts is not necessarily a bad thing. And we don't want to be like Dickens's infuriatingly self-righteous Mrs. Pardiggle (who proudly announces that each of her five young sons donates his allowance to worthy causes, while the narrator explains that the children look "absolutely ferocious with discontent") now do we??

Of course we as parents should teach our kids about the importance of charity as they grow up. And I wholeheartedly intend to start now, trying to explain to my 3 year old the difference between "want" and "need"; modeling charitable behavior. But is it wrong to also want to give him something absolutely perfect to unwrap with glee and anticipation? To watch his face light up like a glow stick as he unearths his new treasure? A present is about thoughtfulness and has less to do with money and more to do with connection and depth of relationship. Some of the best gifts I have given and received cost far less than some of the donations I make.

And so, here they are, some of my favorite picks for children this holiday season. This list is hardly exhaustive or even close to balanced and it doesn't evenly cover every age-group. Nothing is overly elaborate either. Nope, my list is comprised of random, sometimes simple and sometimes quirky items that I would be proud to wrap up in bows and give to all the little babies and children I love this holiday season. Without further ado, 12 of my favorite gifts, and nary a partridge or pear tree in sight:

1) Touchable Art Books: These interactive books give kids hands-on fun in a trippy art world ("pet Matisse's fish!" "Brush Venus's hair!"). Plus, they are much more fun than reading "Goodnight Moon." Again.



2) Skyscraper Block Set: 36 piece set for the budding architect...or for the parent who is sick of ugly blocks.





3) Playhouse: Let your baby
draw on the
walls--his own walls!
This biodegradable playhouse
made of recycled cardboard
can be your toddler's home away from home. And you know
how much kids love boxes. Hours and hours of entertainment.



4) Framed pad: Elegant post-it notes--who knew? Kids can draw within the frame, immediately elevating their doodles to high-art; moms can peel and stick a pre-framed masterpiece.









5) Magic clothes: Remember hypercolor shirts? They're back! But less gross. The
solar-activated
ink on these shirts change color when exposed to the sun, so pirate ships and fairies take on a new look.


6) Message In A Bottle Kit: For when your kid needs to send out an SOS. Comes with a bottle, a cork, and wax.




7) Jigsaw Puppet puzzles: These hip wooden puzzle pieces do double duty as puppets and puzzle pieces. The heads and bodies can be mixed and matched to make an endless number of new characters and fairytales.



8) Homemade, but not homespun, unique clothes: This "Scribbly love dress" is cool without being over the top and will have everyone wondering where you find such awesome clothes for your kids.


9) Puzzles that grow in difficulty as your kids grow in height:
Kid-o puzzles feature different configurations and backgrounds of increasing difficulty--so you aren't forced trying to make your 4 year old put the circle in the right place for the millionth time.


10) A simple camera: Because it's never too early to teach your kids to see the world through various lenses.



11) "Forever Young" by Bob Dylan: Bob Dylan wrote a children's book? Do you need any more reason to get this? "May you grow up to be righteous. May you grow up to be true." I might have accidentally purchased this for myself.






12) Something personalized: Check out the host of personalized options in clothing and books we've previously showed to you. Particularly good for kids with names you don't see at the souvenir shop--can't you remember searching those carousels of little license plates, looking for the "Deepa" or the "Parul"?!?

Give good gift Devis!

The More Things Change...

Hey Readers,

While it feels a bit sad to see Monica, my co-conspirator in this little Devi adventure, move onto her own greener pastures, I for one believe that the South Asian media landscape needs as much substance and talent as possible and I'm excited to see what "indian-ish" things Monica will do next.

As for this site: Not much is gonna change, really. Hard to believe it's only been 3 months since this has begun because hearing from you guys has become a part of my everyday life. So cyber-weird...!

Look out for some changes in the site in the coming months, including a roster of guest bloggers to talk about all things I cannot...or at least should not...! Curious? How about an Indian daddy blogger married to a diva Devi, an Indian sex-expert, the quintessential Indian Aunty to give you advice on all things Indian-protocol, and somebody who can cook (Monica's departure leaves the blog sorely lacking in that area). We are also going to start interviewing high-profile "Devis with Babies" from all walks of life, including a woman who has started her own line of "Baby Einstein books" targetted at Indian children; a mommy-by-day-jewelry-designer-by-night; and a photographer who takes the most unique and meaningful photos of children I have ever seen.

And that's just in January. Ladies: We're just getting started!

Also stay tuned for the launch of our sister-site, Brown Girl Guide, an atelier of sorts for all things Brown style. Think of it as your favorite boutique and your best friend--the one who tells you the truth about the dress, makes you laugh, and explains how those models in the magazines get those awesomely shiny legs--all rolled up in one. Sign up here.

As always, please continue to let "Devis with Babies" know what you like, what you don't like, what you want more of, what you want less of. You can reach me at deviswithbabies@gmail.com, and of course through the comments to the posts.

Bon voyage Monica, hope you keep reading ladies--I'm loving being on this motherhood ride with you...

-Deepa

So Long, Farewell, Hope to See You Soon...

What a wild three months it’s been.

Since we started this blog, I’ve written about everything from my daughter’s tantrums to celebrating Diwali in America to the Bombay terrorist attacks.

From my co-blogger Deepa, I’ve learned about everything from what lipstick to wear to how to channel our frustrations about working motherhood into constructive writing.

And from all of you, I’ve learned that we’re all trying our best to juggle the many balls in our life – kids, work, marriage, home, self – but that we could really use some help keeping them all up in the air.

It’s been a blast, Devis. This will be my last post at deviswithbabies. Thanks for reading, and do come see me at indian-ish.blogspot.com.

Because Bombay is still on my mind, I leave you with a slideshow of the recovery efforts, and a video of A.R. Rehman’s powerful theme song to the 1995 Bollywood movie, Bombay. Sad to think that, 13 years later, the violence continues.



xo,
monica

Take Two Shots and Call Me in the Morning

These are tough times ladies. This weekend's events in Bombay are the most recent example of this and the last months have been dire. So, devis, why not pour yourself a drink. Especially if you're pregnant.

A recent University College of London study on a subject near and dear to my heart--occasional drinking during pregnancy--has concluded that not only is a couple of drinks a week absolutely fine for your unborn child but also--wait for it--it may be BETTER than absolute abstinence. In particular, the children of mothers who were characerized as "light drinkers" were less likely to have conduct and hyperactivity problems, and they also scored higher on cognitive ability assessments, than the children of the moms who didn't drink at all.

Is it my birthday??

I am pregnant with my third little monster right now--my other two are almost 3 and 1, respectively so, do the math--I have been pregnant for as much of the last 4 years (or nursing I suppose) as my sleep-deprived mind can remember. That's quite a few birthdays, anniversaries, New Years, and other assorted occasions of wide-spread merriment where I "get" to be the sober observer. I am glad that, ahem, this new study has confirmed the course of action I have already taken for my pregnancies...that glass of wine really helps when everyone you know at the party is acting, well, like a happily drunk idiot...!

In terms of the details: The scientists studied over 18,000 pregnancies (that's a nice sample size for you people who were waiting to poke statistical holes in this magical study!) and followed the mothers and children from childbirth through age 3. They measured behavioral and cognitive functions of the children at age 9 months and then again at 3 years. And before we all get too excited, "light drinking" was defined as up to 2 alcoholic drinks a week.

While OBGYNs aren't likely to start prescribing Pimms cups with our prenatals anytime soon, hopefully this study can be a harbinger of less extreme pregnancy mentalities...and less extreme motherhood mentalities, natch. We all have stories at this point of the friend or relative who went completely aggro the second she got pregnant. No "soft" cheeses, couldn't even be in the vicinity of a sushi restaurant, wore gloves when using a thermometer. (I know people who did all three of these things--and one who did all three herself...!) While I truly strive to become less of a judgmental person (isn't motherhood difficult enough without us stabbing each other in the backs?), I would be lying if I didn't think these extreme preggos were setting the stage for an extremely unbalanced life. We all read Aristotle, right? We know about the golden mean, and moderation. Most of us lived our pre-pregnancy lives relatively normally I am assuming. So what is it about a sperm and egg uniting in our uterus that makes us so intensely excessive? Is the piece of brie really gonna attack you?

Devis with child: Obviously don't drink if you don't want to! But if you feel the urge, have that glass of champagne on New Years. There are obviously more important things to worry about right now and, besides, it looks like it will do your baby good...!

By the way, many thanks to good-samaritan Josh who told me about this study...while my friend L and I were having champagne at a local bar...!

Salaam Bombay

In 1997, a few weeks before the fiftieth anniversary of Indian independence, my husband and I took a flight from Bhopal to Bombay. We had spent time at an ayurvedic medical clinic, trying to help the survivors of the Union Carbide gas disaster. My husband, who was at the time my boyfriend, had gotten violently ill there. We stayed at a local hotel where there was no lock on the door. And so, as he experienced 106-degree fevers and a succession of incompetent doctors, we had a constant barrage of hotel employees coming into our room without knocking. Did we want food? Hot water? Did we need another doctor? Could they clean the bathroom now? On and on it went. When I would leave the hotel to get medicine, I was constantly harrassed on the street. Even in broad daylight, women did not walk in that section of Bhopal – especially women wearing short sleeves and with no male escort.

When my husband finally felt well enough, we took the first flight back to Bombay to recuperate at our relatives’ homes. Over the next few weeks, homesick and exhausted from the intensity and madness that is India, we sought out the most western places we could find. We went to the Taj Hotel’s Sea Lounge restaurant. There, day after day, we spent whole afternoons drinking their American coffee, eating their bhel puri, watching the sea and the crowds outside through the tall windows. We used the private, air-conditioned Western-style bathrooms with their luxurious toilet paper. In the evenings, we sat in the hotel lobby people-watching as my husband’s cousin pointed out the Indian stars who walked through the front doors.

After we had sufficiently recovered, we went to the Café Leopold and spent hours talking and drinking tall glasses of beer with backpacking Europeans, Australians and Americans. We eschewed the air-conditioned upstairs room for the more open downstairs café, which offered a view of the street. We went to the Oberoi Hotel and ate bad, Amul-cheese-filled enchiladas at the Mexican restaurant. We walked the streets of Colaba, visiting the attar shops and eating kebabs from the nomadic stall that would randomly set up shop in the evening and close when the kebabs ran out.

The Taj, Leopold’s, the Oberoi, the streets of Colaba – these places were the sites of our courtship. They were also the home away from home for us and many other homesick foreigners in Bombay.

It turns out that this is a main reason they were targeted by the t-shirt-clad terrorists who invaded from the sea last Wednesday. They represented the Western world in Bombay, and perhaps in all of India. As I saw the sites I was so familiar with erupt in flames and spattered with blood, I realized something: the terrorists were, in large part, after us. They were after anyone who comes to India wanting to experience its diversity and openness. They were after foreigners who go to India to pursue a dream, be it of wealth, religious freedom, spiritual enlightenment, or the homeland. As most of their victims, they took Indians, but they wanted the pain to be felt around the world. Bombay is my birthplace. Even though I left it when I was three years old, I took this attack personally.

When I go back to India, I expect to experience a deluge of emotion. Bombay is the Indian city that I call home. It is the city where I fell in love with my husband and decided I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Now, it is the site of untold horror and pain. But it has survived many invaders attempting to steal its glory. This, too, shall pass, and Bombay will shine brighter than ever. This is my hope for my city of dreams.