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Thursday, August 6, 2009

Did you celebrate Raksha Bandhan yesterday? Did your kids?

I have many vivid memories of my Renu Faiba coming over and tying what appeared to be a friendship bracelet onto my dad. My dad then gave her jewelry. Seemed like a good trade-off to me! I wasn't privy to what the ritual meant until much later and, while I understand peoples' feathers getting ruffled by the idea that sisters need to be "protected" and whanot--the tradition to me can be simply about carving out a time to appreciate the special relationship between a brother and a sister. Period. Full stop. We are always talking about ways to incorporate Indian traditions into our American lives--this seems like an easy one to fold into the mix, and what a way to create memories for our kids.

My sister and I don't have brothers, but our cousins from India always said that we were their "sisters" and as much as we didn't understand that as kids, we love it now. (Feel the same way but live too far away to actually tie the bracelet on? Send an ecard.) As for my kids: We did a little, makeshift rakhi ceremony this morning and, gotta say, it was pretty cute. In classic my style--we didn't do it on the right day and the rakhi were a bit unconventional, having been fashioned from string and odds and ends in our house. But the sentiment was pure...!

I do wonder: What would happen if a sister tied a rakhi onto another sister? Do you think it would bastardize the tradition?

Just some food/friendship bracelets/presents for thought...! Happy day after Raksha Bandhan to everyone!
13 comments:
Anonymous said...

TOTALLY agree, no need to politicize this one, very cute!

Nisha said...

There are other ways to celebrate sisterhood, no need to build it into Rakhi. That's not what it's about.

Seema said...

Yup, my little kids celebrated yesterday and we invited all our friends' kids too, it was adorable.

Tara said...

I am not Indian but my husband is and I agree, this is an almost "secular" tradition to incorporate into our lives which makes me feel better than some of the other things we do (meaning that I feel hipocritial since we are not really practicing any religion or raising our kids religiously).

Ek Aurat said...

My boys tie rakhis on each other. They need to honor and protect each other as siblings - in my opinion it does not matter that there is no sister.

jaime said...

raksha bandhan is a tradition that has always been close to my heart. my brother lives across the country and i always send him a rakhi with a personal letter/card. every year i enjoy writing the letter and he looks forward to receiving it. it's just hard to express what he means to me in day to day conversations. i just had a baby girl so this year i sent one from her to my nephew too. loved it!

i am all about making your own tradition as well. why can't you tie a rakhi onto your sister? it's kind of like when i send something cheesy to a few of my girlfiends that i love dearly on valentine's day...why not?

cara said...

completely agree for us it's about taking a moment to honor siblings and I don't think the sex matters. Also agree that it's a great tradition to incorporate once we have our second!

Anonymous said...

hmm I don't know, would you give your mom
A card on fathers day or vice versa?

ami said...

I love that idea for valentines day! We've never really practised rakhi--but now I kind of want to.

Anonymous said...

Couldn't agree more that it should be about sibling love, no matter if brothers or sisters. No need to be hyper traditiona about it!

Gina D. said...

Rakhi is one of my favorite traditions. It isn't over-commercialized (at least in the states) and it really focuses on something important that often goes unrecognized, which is the unique bond between brothers and sisters. I don't think celebrating "protecting" is a bad thing and I don't think you have to see it as anti-feminist or anything, it is just sweet! I think it would be different for two brothers to practice it or two sisters. Not bad necessariy just different.

Idina said...

I write my brother a card every Rakhsa Bandhan as well! We were taught to do that from as far back as I remember and I remember asking my (non Indian) friends if they did the same thing and they thought I was crazy! But as we grew up, my white friends incorporated the tradition! It was pretty cool. I actually took rakhis to my daughter's preschool yesterday!

Anonymous said...

Raksha Bandhan is one of my favorite holidays! I have been sending rakhis to my brother (and select cousins) for as long as we have not been living in the same house. Rakhi day is always one of my favorite memories as a kid. I remember how happy my Dad would be to get rakhis from his sister in India. It's definitely something we will continue with our kids once we have them. My husband is not Indian and we mail his sister a rakhi now too.

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