I realized this weekend that even my best friends judge me for having a nanny. Not in a "you're a horrible mom" way, to be sure. But in the way that "she has a nanny" is one of the first things that comes to mind when they think of me. It was a reminder of how complicated and multi-facted the nanny issue is. I used to go back and forth on "to nanny or not to nanny" all the time. I've gone through all the cliched mental hoops--will she be raising my kids; am I being selfish; etc. etc. And I've rounded the bend and truly now chant as mantra "Get a nanny and get over it."
So I thought I had exhausted every possible thing you could think about nannies.
But lo and behold, I was wrong. Tasha Blaine's new book, Just Like Family turns the mental gymnastics so many of us engage in in terms of nannies on its head. Instead of the usual back and forth on whether to get a nanny in the first place, it addresses a question that I had never yet asked: What does my nanny think of me?
It's a great read and much more fun than The Nannie Diaries and its ilk because Blaine's portraits of families and nannies are so real. She somehow manages to capture all the nuance of the complicated dynamics of nanny families in a way that made me re-examine assumptions I had thought were firmly tested.
Educational and absorbing...but, for what it's worth: I still will be emblazening "Get a Nanny and get Over it" with rhinestones on a tshirt very soon. You think it's crazy? Nah. This is crazy.
Deepa is a wife, mother, writer and she sometimes masquerades as a lawyer as well. She revels in friendship, humor, champagne, and laughing at herself--often. She never ever reads US Magazine, thinks Rushdie is a genius, wishes she could write one sentence as funny as "Arrested Development," and lives in the Bay Area with her motley crew. She can be reached at deviswithbabies@gmail.com
i've heard about this book! looking forward to reading it. and glad you're back!
why would anybody judge you when you have 3 kids?!?
You're back you "tease"! Where did you go, can we know?
The author actually was a nanny herself, not sure if you knew. She lasted 6 months.
Haha, I like the mantra. Like everything else in motherhood or elsewhere, if you carefully choose the best thing for you and your children, everything else will follow, judgment be damned. Love the blog Deepa, glad you are returning to it.
we're in the process of deciding whether to get a nanny would love your insights~
Anybody who outsources the raising of kids is going to be judged. That's the way it is. Not saying that you shouldn't get a nanny but that you should see it for what it is. I use a babysitter once in a while but constnatly feel guilty about it. In part because noeboy in my social circle gets any outside help.
Nannies get a bad rap! Hope this book is more sympathetic to them. I was an au pair of sorts for a summer. Hardest job EVER!!!!!
Yay hooky is done!
Why do you have friends who judge you? That sux.
Pregnant by a swimming pool?? LOL!
Sounds like a good read but HOW do you have time to read all this stuff?
i will take one of those tshirts! :)