"Sleep, that Deplorable Curtailment of the Joy of Life"...?

Tuesday, October 14, 2008
My little family of four--we are very accomplished. We have mastered many things thus far and I am proud of us. For instance, on most occasions, we can get out of the house and into the car in less than six hours. In most cases. And, at restaurants, we have learned to leave before we are kicked out. We all have at least one bite of fruit a day and, more often than not, do not throw it up. I sometimes actually pat myself on the back. But there is one area where we are still extremely lacking: Sleeping. I have spent many sleepless nights wondering...well...why my nights are sleepless. Now, these nights have been sleepless because the children won't sleep so I won't pretend to actually be losing sleep over this issue--but this merely a technicality, no?

The issue at hand: Why my children won't sleep. I have recently come up with a few options.

Perhaps they have such a heightened sense of empathy that they feel bad for all the people in the world actually suffering sleepless nights. Over the economy, relationship woes. Yet another reading of "Oh the places you'll go."

Maybe they are geniuses, like good ole Thomas Edison, who supposedly "resented the intrusion of sleep" and claimed to only need 3 hours a night. (Though, if this is the situation, I beg to plead my case to my youngest--please, S., please, can't the 3 hours be consecutive??)

Perhaps they are going to be the President of the United States or some other leader of the free or not-so free word--Abraham Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt, Margaret Thatcher, Winston Churchill all had issues with falling and staying asleep.

Maybe they just want a little respect.

Whatever the case (note: I did NOT include the possibility that the parents at issue have failed to properly train said children. Blasphemy I say! Or whatever the proper word a non-sleep-deprived mind would conjure): This is where I find myself--one of the vast army of half-awake walking zombie-mommies, dreaming about being able to dream in 8 hour stretches one day soon!
Mira said...

This made me laugh. Apparently Martha Stewart doesn't need sleep either. Though I'm not sure any of us want our kids growing up into Martha Stewart!

Sonali said...

I used to be embarrassed about how much I talked about sleep. I remember being bored by my friends who had babies before me, who were constantly making jokes about sleep deprivation. The thing is that there is truth in the humor, and that truth binds us! And if can laugh at ourselves the sleepiness seems a little more bearable!!!!!

Jaime said...

i am back in the sleep deprived devi group...why? because my "sensitive" kid is having a hard time with preschool. really not his fault, since he goes to a jewish temple preschool and they have more holidays than god knows who. the silver lining...he got a cold on the ONE day he went to school in two weeks, which clearly makes things...well...i'll just stop bitchin now!

Siobahan said...

It really is a great irony that the little people we want and force to sleep all the time don't want to and that we, the moms, would step in front of moving traffic for another hour of sleep but it's just not going to happen. I think all the famous people who claim not to sleep are probably just lying to seem cool.

Lena said...

Ahhhh! Sleep is over-rated. Atleast I tell myself that. I don't think about it anymore mostly b/c my 20 month yr old isn't one to stay asleep all night...I don't get up...but I do lay there awake hearing her various sounds and movements. Every time it happens my husband says the same thing.."why bitch about it, she's done this since she came out of you, isn't it time we got used to it". The funny thing is that no matter how many sleepless nights we had in school, pulling those all nighters, you NEVER get used to it. Especially when you finally move into the working world and are free from doing school work on sundays and can finally get 8 hours again. Now Im back to those occasional all nighters. I must have blocked those college days b/c like many moms, I really can't deal...and still stomp my feet to her room. Man, I can't wait when she calls me up as a freshman in college bitchin about how she hasn't slept for days..."Ohhh realllyyy?"

deepa said...

Sounds like we need some sort of sleep support group ladies! Then again, that sounds like effort and we probably just all need to nap...! You know what else drives me nuts? How my kid supposedly naps happily--and without coaxing/patting/bribery in school. I mean: SERIOUSLY??!

deepa said...

BTW--for all of you who asked--the quote in the heading ("Sleep, that Deplorable Curtailment of the Joy of Life") is from Virgina Woolf. Like we needed more proof that she's crazy!

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