Not just another mommy blog

Well, it’s my first post on Devis with Babies. Deepa and I are continually talking about how we don’t write enough for ourselves, so I pitched her the idea of co-writing a “mommy blog.” This way, we’d be forced to write and “publish” on a regular basis, instead of just talking about it. We thought long and hard about the best name for this blog. Although I like what we came up with – ‘devi’ means goddess in Hindi – I’d like to think we’re not constrained by the mommy-blog idea. Because although at this point in our lives we may be mothers, and we may view that as our first and foremost priority, the term “mother” does not define us. We are so many other things.

Growing up, I distinctly remember looking at my friends’ mothers and, for the most part, not seeing them as anything other than my friend’s mothers – even if they had active careers or other interests. Even in my 20s, I’d look at young moms and think of them mostly in the context of their kids. Now that I’m a mom, I know this type of sensibility is deadening. Although I love her to death, I am not defined by my daughter. The sad thing is, for the most part, only moms seem to really understand this, and to engage other moms in conversation. Maybe that’s why the sexes split up so much at parties as you get older.

Try this: the next time you see some woman running around after her kid at a party, stop. Take a second. Then go have a conversation with her about something other than her kid. You may be surprised. (Then again, you may not because she may end up just talking about the kid, but hey, at least you tried!)