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"Sanjay, Sanjay, Why Have You Failed Us?"
"Dr." Aasif Mandvi ("on behalf of every single member of my community") on Sanjay Gupta--hilarious. My favorite line: "I'm an Indian-Americans, John, we are all born with a certain level of graduate school medical training." Heh. Don't our parents wish...!
File Under: What Were They Thinking?
Yesterday I had lunch with my friend V, and we were discussing how everyone we know is jumping on the "I can be an entrepreneur!" bandwagon. It seems like a smart thing to do, especially in this economy: Find something you like to do, set up your little cottage industry in your home, see where it takes you. I fully support these efforts. But sometimes enough is enough. In the ever-expanding commercial terrain known as the baby-industrial-complex, you have to wonder whether there are any limits to the products that will be pushed on us. For instance, many moms I know recognized their limit when mommy blogs and magazines alike started pimping these "delivery gowns"--nightgowns for us to purchase and use only once, during labor and delivery. I didn't and don't want to buy the delivery gown but I wasn't as angry about it as some other people--to each her own, I thought. However, I think I have now found my limit. Introducing: Morning Chicness Bags.
Yes. That's right. "Morning Chicness Bags." These "super cute" bags are designed--you guessed it--for you to vomit into. They are essentially pastel colored paper bags with a bit of pretty. Their tagline? "Morning sickness vomit bags for the chic expectant mother." I do not think I have ever seen the words "vomit" and "chic" in the same sentence before--for good reason. I am almost at a loss for words. (Isn't this picture hilarious??)I feel a little guilty hating this product so much. After all, it's no skin off my back that the product's inventor has made it and is putting it out into the world. And maybe she is laughing/vomiting all the way to the bank, who knows (though: please, please tell me, who would buy this??). In fact, this wretched (ha) product proves as inspiration for us all: If designer vomit bags can find their way into the marketplace, so can that idea you have been mulling over for years. Get to it. Seriously. Need more inspiration? This guy got an entire "cookbook" published--about semen-based recipes...!
Hand me one of those vomit bags.
MAC Attack
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Are you a MAC girl? MAC Cosmetics does a great job of providing highly-pigmented lipsticks and eye makeup that tends to suit darker complexions. Their Studio-Fix foundation is a fixture in most make-up bags I have perused and it is a good "starter" makeup if you don't consider yourself a "makeup" person. Until tomorrow at midnight, save 25% off your entire purchase, and enjoy free shipping on purchases over $60.00 at MAC Cosmetics. Use the code MACFF9. I just bought this.
Want more beauty news and shopping deals? Check out Brown Girl Guide, launching soon.
One Indian Woman's Wish List
New Year, new wishes. All moms dream of things that would make life easier ("A robot that cooks and cleans...and breast-feeds"). Here, some of my wishes, specific to being an Indian mom. Somebody please look into these--many would be a post-it-note "why didn't I think of that!" moment I am sure...!
Beyond "Identity" Fiction
We get it. We, as Indians, sometimes feel torn between the east and the west. If we were born here, we are intrinsically "American" but, at the same time, we have values rooted in a decidedly un-American heritage. Thank you to all the literary trail-blazers who put "identity" fiction--and literature about South Asians in general--on the map. But let's get on with it already. How many times do we want to read about one foot in New York and one in Delhi? Eighteen times pretty much sufficed. Onward and upwards, let's see what else the glorious Indian women who roam the pages of fiction can do.
Beyond "Identity" Fiction
We get it. We, as Indians, sometimes feel torn between the east and the west. If we were born here, we are intrinsically "American" but, at the same time, we have values rooted in a decidedly un-American heritage. Thank you to all the literary trail-blazers who put "identity" fiction--and literature about South Asians in general--on the map. But let's get on with it already. How many times do we want to read about one foot in New York and one in Delhi? Eighteen times pretty much sufficed. Onward and upwards, let's see what else the glorious Indian women who roam the pages of fiction can do.
Netflix for Indian Clothes
I have learned the rules but they still don't make sense. That $1000 lengha? With the hand-done embroidery and gold spun by hand? You should wear it once and carry around a spotlight so everyone can see how gorgeous it is...but then you can never be caught dead in it again. Okay. I'll play by the rules. But why not let friends reap the rewards of that spun-gold and Swarovki glory. Or forget my friends, let a stranger wear it, why does it have to hang in sad confinement in my closet (read: lay in a sad pile under my bed). Somebody has got to get on this. Bindi Borrow or Steal. Or something.
A Turmeric-Sensitive Cleaner
Members of my family believe that turmeric is a magical panacea. When my kids are coughing up lungs and their noses are perpetually leaking, I would try voodoo so turmeric is completely fine with me. But it is a disater on my home. The faint yellow residue has left impressions on high chairs and fabric long after the colds have passed. There's got to be something to get this out and even my magical Folex has failed me.
While we're at it: How about something to get that "I just came back from india" smell out of your clothes. Don't even tell me you don't know what I mean. Febreeze doesn't cut it, it just makes it seem like you were hugged by an Indian airport that had a Febreeze free sample kiosk.
Luxe Lipsticks for Brown Ladies
I have found foundations, blushes, skincare and eye makeup that I think looks great on Indian women but, for some reason, most lipsticks still manage to make me look like a clown. It's not that hard is it? Listen up Chanel: We have money to spend (sometimes): Give us a reason to.
A Short Primer On Important Traditions
I need to be able to sift through which traditions are really important to my extended family and which ones are really just filler on the calendar. I am a mutt--half Gujarati, half South Indian--and my husband is Punjabi. In terms of tradition and culture, we may as well be from different countries, it seems at times. I need some Cliffs notes. AND, I would LOVE to know what the ritual and pomp and circumstance surrounding the many traditions I've never heard of actually mean. I am still trying to get to the bottom of the significance of the strainer at karva chauth. And are we allowed to steal shoes at all auspicious occasions? And is eating panjiri THAT important?? I wish the people behind these books would get on this.
More South Indian restaurants
Just saying the word "dosa" makes my mouth water. There's more to Indian cuisine than Tandoori chicken and yet, many people have no idea.
"Petticoats" that don't suck. And lenghas that don't attack you.
I have war-wounds from some of the Indian garb I have worn. Cat-claw-like scratches under my arms from bronze adornment on lengha blouses. Near-rug-burn on my waist from "petticoats" that need to be "so tight they hurt--if it doesn't hurt it isn't tight enough." And the "petticoats" (love writing such a silly word!) are often of this horrible synthetic, satiny material that feels horrible against my skin. I'm thinking it doesn't have to be like this. Somebody please show me the way.
Non-cheesy Indian-inspirted housewares
I don't need Ganesha on my plates and I would prefer not to have Lord Shiva on my accent pillows. But it would be great to be able to showcase Indian art in my home. We keep hearing about how thriving the Indian art scene is but it remains difficult to gain access to it from here. I would much rather throw some money at a modern Indian art emporium than Design Within Reach--if I knew how.
Got Any Indian-Inspired Wishes on Your Wish-List?
I have learned the rules but they still don't make sense. That $1000 lengha? With the hand-done embroidery and gold spun by hand? You should wear it once and carry around a spotlight so everyone can see how gorgeous it is...but then you can never be caught dead in it again. Okay. I'll play by the rules. But why not let friends reap the rewards of that spun-gold and Swarovki glory. Or forget my friends, let a stranger wear it, why does it have to hang in sad confinement in my closet (read: lay in a sad pile under my bed). Somebody has got to get on this. Bindi Borrow or Steal. Or something.A Turmeric-Sensitive Cleaner
Members of my family believe that turmeric is a magical panacea. When my kids are coughing up lungs and their noses are perpetually leaking, I would try voodoo so turmeric is completely fine with me. But it is a disater on my home. The faint yellow residue has left impressions on high chairs and fabric long after the colds have passed. There's got to be something to get this out and even my magical Folex has failed me.While we're at it: How about something to get that "I just came back from india" smell out of your clothes. Don't even tell me you don't know what I mean. Febreeze doesn't cut it, it just makes it seem like you were hugged by an Indian airport that had a Febreeze free sample kiosk.
Luxe Lipsticks for Brown Ladies
I have found foundations, blushes, skincare and eye makeup that I think looks great on Indian women but, for some reason, most lipsticks still manage to make me look like a clown. It's not that hard is it? Listen up Chanel: We have money to spend (sometimes): Give us a reason to.
A Short Primer On Important Traditions
I need to be able to sift through which traditions are really important to my extended family and which ones are really just filler on the calendar. I am a mutt--half Gujarati, half South Indian--and my husband is Punjabi. In terms of tradition and culture, we may as well be from different countries, it seems at times. I need some Cliffs notes. AND, I would LOVE to know what the ritual and pomp and circumstance surrounding the many traditions I've never heard of actually mean. I am still trying to get to the bottom of the significance of the strainer at karva chauth. And are we allowed to steal shoes at all auspicious occasions? And is eating panjiri THAT important?? I wish the people behind these books would get on this.
More South Indian restaurants
Just saying the word "dosa" makes my mouth water. There's more to Indian cuisine than Tandoori chicken and yet, many people have no idea."Petticoats" that don't suck. And lenghas that don't attack you.
I have war-wounds from some of the Indian garb I have worn. Cat-claw-like scratches under my arms from bronze adornment on lengha blouses. Near-rug-burn on my waist from "petticoats" that need to be "so tight they hurt--if it doesn't hurt it isn't tight enough." And the "petticoats" (love writing such a silly word!) are often of this horrible synthetic, satiny material that feels horrible against my skin. I'm thinking it doesn't have to be like this. Somebody please show me the way.
Non-cheesy Indian-inspirted housewares
I don't need Ganesha on my plates and I would prefer not to have Lord Shiva on my accent pillows. But it would be great to be able to showcase Indian art in my home. We keep hearing about how thriving the Indian art scene is but it remains difficult to gain access to it from here. I would much rather throw some money at a modern Indian art emporium than Design Within Reach--if I knew how.Got Any Indian-Inspired Wishes on Your Wish-List?
I Need A Hero
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
February's Glamour Magazine profiles Supriya Jindal--wife of Louisiana Governor and former VP-short-listed "Bobby" Jindal--as a "fiesty" woman who also happens to be "our only Indian American First Lady."
Images of Clarence Thomas race through my head. He must have a wife. I wonder if she is like Supriya. It sounds harsh I know but let's review the facts: Bobby's real name? Piyush. He "adopted" his current moniker in homage to Bobby Brady. Presently-Catholic Piyush's born religion? Hinduism. He converted in high school. And of course there is his famous New Oxford Review essay--"Beating the Demon, Physical Dimensions of Physical Warfare"--which details his belief in exorcism. All this and we haven't even gotten started on the Governor's views on church and state, stem cell research, gay marriage--but I am getting off topic...
Bottom-line, the guy seems decidedly anti-Indian and while I suppose it isn't fair to assume his wife holds the same views, when she is paraded around as our only Indian American First Lady and she doesn't say anything to distance herself from her husband's whitewash, what is anybody supposed to think? She gives us a little glimpse into her views in a local New Orleans newspaper interview:
Although she has visited India several times -- including once with Bobby, when he was sent as a congressman on a trade mission -- she says she doesn't feel any particular attachment to the country of her ancestors or any particular sense of comfort when she's there. Nor does she follow the news from India with any particular regularity.Okay, fine. There it is. Be who you want to be right? Be American, be yourself, be cool. And, in all honesty, Supriya seems cool enough. By all accounts, she is a whip-smart, considerate powerhouse, juggling three kids and a career. According to the Glamour piece, she is getting ready to launch the Supriya Jindal Foundation for Louisiana Children, a nonprofit aimed at fixing the state's lagging math and science scores. What's not to like about improving education? Plus I have a soft-spot for the woman since her son's name is Shaan, as is mine.
But the Jindals constitute token representation of Indians, at best. Is there any disputing that? And I can't help but wish that Glamour had picked somebody else to represent us. Someone who, perhaps, rose in her own right. A South Asian woman who stands up proudly, or at least not in shame or ignorance, of where she (and her husband) come from, geographically, culturally, philosophically. Someone like...
Like...
Like who? Who are our South Asian female role models? Help me out here...
Not Just Another List
Monday, January 5, 2009
If you're like me, you are probably sick of all the "top 10"s and every other assorted list that a new year catalyzes people to make. But my friend S passed along this list of resolutions for parents and it was too good not to share. The reason I love it is because the directives strike the perfect balance of motivating us to be better parents as well as better people in general. The author of the list, Jacque Grillo--an Early Childhood Specialist, Marriage and Family Therapist, and Director of Lone Mountain Children's Center in San Francisco--is going to be featured on The Today Show this week, talking about these resolutions all parents should make in 2009 (The stuff in bold is my emphasis):
1. Resolve that one day each week will be a day without television, videos, computers, and electronics of any sort. Shut the things off. Reclaim your homes.
2. Resist the pressure to become your child's day planner, social secretary and entertainment organizer. Allow for days where nothing is planned. Celebrate boredom! Don't protect your child from a day with nothing to do. Day after day filled with adult-organized activities and events destroys any possibility of creativity or self-discovery. Don't allow your child to become the center of your universe.
3. Play together, fantasize together, and get creative together using only the simplest of materials: old clothes, a cardboard box, crayons, paper and glue. Make-up characters and stories - together.
4. Get out of your child's way. Provide her with time, either alone or with friends, that is largely unsupervised and where an adult will only intervene when the screams reach a high decibel level. Teach them to trust in themselves. Let them make mistakes and experience the consequences. Stop rescuing.
5. Intentionally deny your child something he "really wants". Don't just delay its acquisition but never allow the desired object into your home. Have conversations about the experience of disappointment. Share your own experiences of how it feels to not get something you "really want".
6. Plan a long weekend away for you and your spouse and resist the urge to check in by phone every hour. Trust me -- your children will survive and everyone will benefit.
7. Don't buy into the "more is better" culture. Almost always less is more.
8. Remember what life before children was like. Commit to having a life of your own with your own activities, friends and interests. It's not only good for you but a great model for your children.
9. Worry less. Almost all problems self-resolve in time and the small percentage that don't probably couldn't have been prevented in any case.
10. Have faith in something and share it openly with your children. It can be God, the Universe, Love or the inherent goodness of your fellow man. It's one of the greatest gifts you can pass on to your children.
1. Resolve that one day each week will be a day without television, videos, computers, and electronics of any sort. Shut the things off. Reclaim your homes.
2. Resist the pressure to become your child's day planner, social secretary and entertainment organizer. Allow for days where nothing is planned. Celebrate boredom! Don't protect your child from a day with nothing to do. Day after day filled with adult-organized activities and events destroys any possibility of creativity or self-discovery. Don't allow your child to become the center of your universe.
3. Play together, fantasize together, and get creative together using only the simplest of materials: old clothes, a cardboard box, crayons, paper and glue. Make-up characters and stories - together.
4. Get out of your child's way. Provide her with time, either alone or with friends, that is largely unsupervised and where an adult will only intervene when the screams reach a high decibel level. Teach them to trust in themselves. Let them make mistakes and experience the consequences. Stop rescuing.
5. Intentionally deny your child something he "really wants". Don't just delay its acquisition but never allow the desired object into your home. Have conversations about the experience of disappointment. Share your own experiences of how it feels to not get something you "really want".
6. Plan a long weekend away for you and your spouse and resist the urge to check in by phone every hour. Trust me -- your children will survive and everyone will benefit.
7. Don't buy into the "more is better" culture. Almost always less is more.
8. Remember what life before children was like. Commit to having a life of your own with your own activities, friends and interests. It's not only good for you but a great model for your children.
9. Worry less. Almost all problems self-resolve in time and the small percentage that don't probably couldn't have been prevented in any case.
10. Have faith in something and share it openly with your children. It can be God, the Universe, Love or the inherent goodness of your fellow man. It's one of the greatest gifts you can pass on to your children.
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Deepa is a wife, mother, writer and she sometimes masquerades as a lawyer as well. She revels in friendship, humor, champagne, and laughing at herself--often. She never ever reads US Magazine, thinks Rushdie is a genius, wishes she could write one sentence as funny as "Arrested Development," and lives in the Bay Area with her motley crew. She can be reached at deviswithbabies@gmail.com