Tuesday, March 3, 2009
As you know by now, I currently have 3 kids running around like wild animals under my watch. The oldest is 3 and 1 month old. So, with some advanced math you can discern that my husband and I had 3 kids in 4 years. New year new kid! We obviously were on the FastTrak approach to creating a family--once we had our first, we came to the conclusion that we wanted to have kids that were close to each other in age. Both of our sisters are less than 2 years younger than us, so that likely influenced things--so many times, it seems, we try to replicate our own childhood and adolescence in our children no?
I got to thinking about all of this when a friend of mine asked me how we knew it was "the right time" to have our second kid. My first reaction (read: quip) was "there is no right time," and though I was joking my retort was laced with seriousness--there is always going to be something that gets sidetracked when you have a child, whether it's career, nest-egg building, social life, vacations, etc. As I thought about it more, I realized I didn't have a real answer for my friend. I'm not sure why we decided to have our second when we did. There were no long discussions, pro/con lists, Excel spreadsheets (I know a couple who uses Excel spreadsheets for every major decision in their life. And the not so major ones too. S and I are probably the anti-Excel-spreadsheet couple. Not because we are "better" than that. But because one of doesn't really know how to use Excel and the other one of us would probably make the spreadhseet and forget where he put it.) We just sort of talked about it and (no joke) wham, bam, second kid...that's just sort of how my husband and I work I guess...
I'm curious: What do you guys think about the "right time" to have a second kid? Are you considering only one child? What is the process with your partner like in this regard?